Silence

I close my eyes tonight and its silent. No bombs go off and none are going to. I probably won't hear any choppers flying low overhead, either. I think of my friends who are back there and wonder what they will hear when nightfall comes for them.

Something I found really strange, after arriving in Afghanistan, was that the news media- concerned mostly with Iraq- had not really been reporting exactly what was going on in southern Afghanistan. And I read it daily. They did report that Operation Mountain Thrust had begun, but few details were given. Perhaps because not many reporters were there. But anyone living in southern Afgh at that time realized that the major military operation meant nightly battles and bombing just outside the city in a district called Panjaway, that were killing "insurgents." Or civilians.

A few days ago I read an account on http://www.aopnews.com (in my opinion, the best site for almost current, daily news on Afgh). It was written by a Canadian soldier and was about a battle he took part in on the Afghan Independence day last August 19th. We heard the gunfire that night but had no idea about what was really happening. It saddened me to hear him write that 120-130 Afghans had been killed by the ISAF troops that night... just after I went to Sehar's birthday party and we walked back to watch the fireworks.

What bothered me the most, and still does, is that our military has not really accounted for proving that who they kill in southern Afghanistan are really insurgents or not. If they don't know, they just put "suspected insurgents" in the report and get on with it. In this way it seems they can get away with civilian deaths much easier. But in a country where poverty and warlords are forcing villagers to choose sides, sometimes saying you choose the Taliban means life or food, whether you care whose 'side' you are on or not. It saddens me to realize that maybe in the midst of all the chaos we are just killing Afghan people.

It really confuses me why we don't redirect the billions of dollars that are being wasted by shamefully corrupt officials or spent on reconstruction (when the schools in the south are being burned back down or closed again) just toward trying to pay the Afghan National Army more than the Taliban pay fighters to join them. Because the Afghans who are trying to support the legitimate government and do actually join the Afghan military make a shamefully small salary. Rumor is, after all, the main reason villagers join the Taliban is the pay. But I'm not a military expert so I hope that the UN or USAID has some great answer for that I haven't thought of yet.

I think that's it for tonight.

Hark! Is that the phone ringing?

The PA school called me this morning!

And set up an interview for January 8th, 2007, at 1:00pm.

So, if you wanted to hang out the afternoon of January 8th, 2007, I'm really sorry I have other plans that afternoon. But they happen to be the only plans I have for the next seven months. So that should make finding another time to hang out fairly easy.

Home

Hey! I am back in Oklahoma, yea! All was safe. Feel free to call me, my number is still the same Texas one for awhile. But maybe wait a couple days, I got a nasty cold and sore throat on the way home and its a little painful to talk. Can't wait to see you!!

Something Beautiful

There's something very different about my last place of residence and the UAE. And it is called money.

It is so weird that a bunch of slimy black gunk, made from the remains of dead things, is the difference between absolute poverty and sickening opulence in the world.

I have been in Dubai for four days now and everywhere I look, there is something beautiful. A beautiful shopping mall. A beautiful fountain. A street lined with green grass. A cityscaped row of skyscrapers. A palm tree. The Persian Gulf. The Arabian night. A Baskin Robbins.

Invariably, no matter to what you lift your eyes here, you will see something beautiful. You have to search for the ugly. In this respect I am grateful for the change from Afghanistan.

But the most beautiful thing I have seen here was something I couldn't touch. It was the huge expanse of ocean, with the sun setting over it. Something I will never take for granted to see again.

Something funny- 70% of the taxi drivers in Dubai are from Afghanistan or Pakistan. And almost all of these speak Pashto. So I have had the utter delight of getting to talk to all but one of my drivers in Pashto. And I thought my chances to practice were over. But the number of languages you hear here is insane. At the mall yesterday, I heard English, Chinese, Farsi, Japanese, Russian, Arabic, Spanish, French, Swedish, and all within five minutes of each other, just sitting there listening as people walked by. Crazy malls.

One thing I have realized: if you are going to go to Dubai for a whole week, by the fourth day it will be much more fun with a friend or family. Although it is REALLY fun to stay at a guest house where you meet people from all over the world, going all over the world. I met a family from New Zealand, headed to Uganda. A couple from Djibouti, headed to Texas. Sisters from London, headed to Afghanistan. People from Afghanistan, headed all over the world.

I have really enjoyed getting some alone time, but now I am definitely ready to see all of you. My plane leaves tomorrow... hee hee!

Until Next Time, Afghanistan

My days here are numbered. Its time to say... until next time. I will be leaving southern Afghanistan in three days, and will spend a little over a week traveling to Dubai and Oman, before I arrive back in the States on December 7th. I will post from the beautiful Arabian penninsula if I have a chance. But I may be too busy enjoying the unobstructed view.

Afghanistan I have loved, Afghanistan I have hated. There have been many hard things about living here and so many beautiful things. I have to say that I'm excited to go back to a country that is at peace. At least on their side of the ocean. And I am so excited to see all of you! But its hard to leave when there's so much left to do. Some of the friends I have here I don't feel ready to leave. I am comforting myself with the thought of coming back some day. (And the inexpressible joy that bubbles up at the thought of returning to modern life is a little hard to suppress, too.)

I think this is the definition of mixed feelings. So much to look forward to and so much to miss. Until next time...

A Holiday to Remember

So we had an awesome Thanksgiving. It was so wonderful to eat authentic American food! And a lot of it! I'm so sad that the picture function isn't working and you can't see how awesome our turkey was. Due to two hard-working American women and some imported goods from Dubai, we had a true Thanksgiving meal with no substitutes or changes. We had green bean casserole, mashed potatoes, gravy, sweet potato casserole, stuffing, homemade rolls, deviled eggs, pumpkin pie, and chocolate pumpkin cake to compliment our freshly-killed turkey.

I ended up with the leg, which was the same size as those giant turkey legs you see people gnawing on as they walk around the fair. I was just starting to miss funnel cakes and cotton candy when the fun with Balderdash and Spoons began, and we ended the holiday in silly fun. Now the Christmas season has begun...

Easy to Find

Where do you live? Its a pretty simple question you can ask any three year old and get a pretty specific answer. In most places. But here in a city of 600,000 people and about four street names, its a little difficult to explain to anyone how to find your house.

Until recently, that is, for us. After the foundation was laid and the Hole was filled, the ensuing construction on top conveniently solved this problem for us. Now we just tell you the general area, and you look up.


We live underneath the Tower. Once my brother told me a story where the main object was called the Tower of Power. It stuck, I guess, because that is now what we call ours. Turn left at the Tower of Power and knock on the little red gate underneath. Be sure to wear some headgear though so you don't inadvertently get a brain tumor while chit-chatting over tea and cookies.

Trade Off

Yesterday, some of us were sitting around talking about the projects and things that are going on here. One group of our friends has a hospital they run just a few minutes from where we are opening up the women's center. I have always had a great respect for this organization and the people who work there. They traded their normal lives and came here to live and give healthcare to Afghans. And they told us this story as we were all sitting there.

Most of them are doctors, and as they leave the hospital every day, they see a huge pile of trash, in which children are usually rummaging about in for whatever treasure they can find. When the children see them leaving, they run up to them and start to beg. This really bothered our friends and they didn't know what to do about it. It happened every day. So they got together to try and decide what they should do.

Then last Thursday, the first of hopefully many times, they made tons of chicken soup and bought dodey (bread). When they came out of the hospital and the dirty children ran up, they fed all of them. Then they got out soap and water and washed the lice out of their hair. Then one who cuts hair gave them all haircuts. Then they gave them tickets to come and be seen at the hospital.

God bless the humble of the world... the humble doctors and the humble children.

Email

Well, it appears that it is time to Forget About Rememberus. If you have sent anything to my old email in the last three weeks, please just resend it to erintill@gmail.com. I for sure did not receive your email because that server crashed and deleted everything. Thanks!

Great Days

The last two weeks of my stay here have begun. These are great days. It is now in the 60's and 70's here, so with our attire the weather feels perfect. There's just something about knowing you are going home soon that makes everything beautiful. And to be going home for Christmas, my birthday, and New Year's... that is joy unspeakable.

So far, there is no update on PA school. I think the latest I would find out about an interview is around my birthday.

There are not really many interesting pictures from this last week. We have not had too much excitement. I have been observing at different hospitals and clinics but those stories I will save for later because mostly they are tragedies. The healthcare system just needs so much help. Sometimes I wonder if hospitals here are meant to save people's lives or to take them. Particularly the mothers and children. More on that later.

And Happy Thankgiving. I'd never thought about it before coming here, but you know, we are the only country that celebrates Thanksgiving. Duh, right? Except it is sad to be in a foreign country on one of your homeland's major holidays. They don't even have the day off from work, much less half the week. But the great thing about expat communities is their determination to keep their own traditions alive, despite being surrounded by a sea of other people who don't care. This is why there are still Amish people in Ohio and why Thanksgiving exists in any country where Americans live. So if you emailed me and asked what we are doing for Thanksgiving... the same thing as you. (Only our bird might have bird flu whereas yours probably will not.)

Cloak Mosque

This is the Cloak Mosque. Its said that the (a) cloak of the prophet Mohammad is inside. Its a very holy site here. We went on Thursday morning, which is the only time women are allowed. Hundreds of women come to buy verses from the Quran which they consider special blessings, to kiss the place the cloak is entombed, or to buy a lock to curse the womb of another woman. Many women here practice a more animistic form of Islam than what their religion really teaches. 

Training

A few days ago, as we were doing some community development training with the female staff for the healthcare center, we asked the girls to do an exercise where they made two drawings. First, they were to draw a picture of the current situation of women in this city; then afterwards, a picture of their dream for this city.

Here is what they first drew.







When we asked the women to explain their drawings, the first thing the office manager said was, pointing to the binding around the enchained woman, “Do you know what this is called? Its very sharp, they often have it around the airports here.” I hadn’t looked closely and thought it was just a rope. But looking again, I realized, with an emotion I can’t describe, that she had drawn razor wire.

Her description of the woman with all the children provoked a similar emotion when she described how this woman lost her husband in a rocket attack (disturbing picture not included) and was left with no home and six children, in absolute destitution, and then stated simply, “Do you know, I know this woman.”

Here is the story she told to go along with the picture of the four people.

‘Do you know, [everything begins with that] I also know this girl. Her mother and father, they sold her. To an ooold, ooold man. But he was very rich! And they were so poor. They have other children. But he paid them so much money!! He gave them 20 lak afghani (approx. $4,000 USD). And so they sold her. She was very young, maybe thirteen, fourteen years old. And you know, he has already three wives. She is his fourth wife. Her mother allowed her to go. And with the money, they bought a house. Before that, they were too poor.’

Sometimes, a picture by itself says a thousand words. But sometimes when you know the story behind it, there are no words.

Unfortunately I don't have pictures of the drawings they did of their dreams for the future. But we cannot possibly stop there, NO! Because that is NOT the ending for Afghanistan.

Roads, trees, clinics, schools, food, orphanages. These were the things they drew. A woman doctor, crossing the street, with the freedom to leave her house and go to work. A clean water supply. All things that are so normal in our world. Things that are possible here, that we are working to implement. There is only a finite amount of effort required to progress from the first set of pictures to the second. That’s why if any of us contribute in even the slightest way to this effort, we will have been a part of something big, and beautiful, and important. We have the ability to improve life on this earth.

As I am getting ready to go home, and have just four weeks left here, there is one thing I look forward to more than any other. I don’t suppose it would be hard for any of you to guess: I cannot wait to be free again.

But the women here will still be waiting. They are just one slice of all the humanity across the world, waiting for someone to remember.

Content

I am content here. I have learned here how to be content no matter what the situation is around me. This is not something I could possibly do on my own. No, there are many people praying and in truth, Jesus is really the one giving me contentment. But here are a few things he has showed me about how to do it.

*Enjoy life. There are way too many horribly sad things to dwell on. War, oppression, poverty. But there is also always something good to enjoy while you are working to improve the bad things. Like dancing and flowers and sweet pomegranites.

*Things change. I am working with Philippinos and Koreans here. And both cultures have told me that the situations in the Philippines and Korea were very similar to Afghanistan 50 years ago. Things will change if we continue working for change.

*Always be thankful. If you can't find anything good to be thankful for, be thankful for the bad things. I once read about two sisters who were imprisoned in a concentration camp during WWII. They had just about the worst lives imaginable. But one of the sisters decided to be thankful for the fleas that were in her bed. So she just spent some time focusing on those fleas and how thankful she was for them. The sisters had some very precious, illegal things hidden in their bunks that were never discovered. Later, they found out that the reason the Nazi's didn't discover their parephenalia was because the bunks were infested with fleas and the Nazis didn't want to touch them.

So sometimes even the things that you wish didn't exist turn out for your benefit.

Holiday

Last week was the "kochiney axter"- The Little Eid- the three days of feasting after a month of fasting. The first three days, men will visit relatives and other men friends. But for the whole month after that, it is the women's Eid. I have been to lots of new houses during this time. The picture isn't great but it is an example of what they lay out whenever you come to a house. Would you believe, all this was for just three people, me and two friends.

Everyone also has to wear new clothes and the sound of gunfire is heard for the whole Eid. This time its not the war- that's also how they like to party here. (Party, fight... any reason to fire a gun will do.) I have thought about going to the neighbor's house to ask if I can shoot their kashalnikov... but then, the shots often kill or injure people when the bullets come back down so I'm holding off for now. 

Brrr

The water (and the weather) is cooling down! 

Landscape

A friend asked for some pictures of the landscape and I have just now had the chance to take a few. We don't travel outside of our part of the city very much. But the other day I went to the American base again and here is a picture I would have shown you about the way this country seems.



Barren, dry, dusty, brown. Unforgiving. Those are the main adjectives that would stick in your mind if you visited here. And it doesn't even include the filth you usually see all over the regular streets. This is what I thought all the pictures of the landscape were going to look like.

But then, as we were driving home, we took a back road, and I saw a completely different southern Afghanistan. Before that day, I had never seen a field here, or anything that in the slightest way looked fresh and green. But then we saw this...




There were all these green fields. And clouds! There are rarely clouds here. And it was the biggest holiday of the year, so everyone was wearing brand new, fresh-looking clothes. And instead of everything being dirty and brown and depressing... for the first time, it seemed like the city had hope. It was just so beautiful. And I had to remind myself that it wasn't something we want for the future of Afghanistan... this was something we really saw! And so it was an encouraging day.



Here are the camels! Also, forgive me, all the pictures were taken while driving about forty mph. 

Henna

They do the most beautiful henna here. This is my friend who had hers done just before returning to the States. Right now I also have henna on my hands. It takes about two or three weeks to wash off. When I come home I'm bringing a lot back, so if you want yours done just let me know! 

The Hole

A few days ago, there was this giant hole in my front yard. This is the Hole.



Now the Hole is gone. After being partially filled with cement and gravel, along with four cement pillars, the hole is now well on its way to becoming the foundation for a 90 foot cellphone tower.

And why is a gigantic cellphone tower being built in our extremely tiny front yard? I'm still working on that one. But mostly because our landlord is being paid $500 USD per month to have it there, and just because this is Afghanistan. Why not? 

The Test

I want to photograph the faces of my two English students so badly and put them on here. I love these girls so much. They are the daughter and daughter-in-law of my landlord, and I spend most nights of the week with them. But they won't let me take pictures of their faces. Here is one they did let me take...



This is a picture during their big exam. After a few weeks of classes, they practically begged me to give them an exam. The funny thing is, neither of them did very well, and I have no idea why they wanted one so badly. Except that after the test, their first question was, "Who was victorious?" They really wanted to know who won. Another insight into this culture and how important honor is to them. But then I tried to talk to them about how it doesn't matter who did better, what matters is that they both learn to speak English. They ended up shaking their heads; hopefully they agreed inside, too. 

Stress

So many things are stressful here. This is just a stressful place to live. Not only the war, but also working with another culture, having many technical problems communicating with home, not to mention all the differences in the way this country operates as opposed to the way we're used to our country operating. Please be praying for me. I am not invincible and this place is just plain hard sometimes.

What to Wear...

When one of my married friends moved here, she decided that she would forsake her life as a housewife and become a ninja. It seemed better than wearing a polyester tent with eyeholes. So she started wearing this. And when she began learning the language, she found other women asking her with shock, "Your husband lets you show your eyes??"

Sorry guys, there's may be little too much EYE showing in this picture. 

My House

This is where we live. We share a house with an Afghan family. They live in most of it and we rent two rooms and a huge basement from them. Dr. H, her husband, and the J-man live downstairs, and I live in one of the side rooms upstairs. The window on the right is my room.

Many of the little streets and alleys here are really narrow, as you can see from our house. 

The Center

So what have Dr. H and I been doing? We have been seeing patients in their homes and our home while the business we are working with finishes the process of starting a center SOLELY for Afghan women. Here in this city, there is no foreign organization that offers this type of care solely for women. However, that is a huge need here. Many women in this city are not allowed to see male doctors and so sometimes no care, or only very poor care, is available to them.

Above is a picture of the building rented for the center. We are in the process of getting the center ready for business and hiring and training the Afghan women who will staff the center, while continuing to see Dr. H's regular patients. The center should open for business before I return to the States and I am very excited to see it up and running. I will post more pictures when that happens. 

For Mom

I love you Mom. 

Abuse

A few weeks ago, Dr. H was examining our landlady for disurea and she found bruises all over her legs. The night before, we heard lots of shouting through the wall and come to find out, our landlord- who I thought was a great guy- beats her. Not only this, last night I'd just finished giving her daughter-in-law an English lesson and the girl (who is about twenty) told me, "Every man beats his wife, Nazanine. Every man." I explained to her that in America, if a man beats his wife and she goes to the police, they can take him to jail. My dear friend was shocked.

The strange thing is seeing how accepting they have become of the abuse. They still laugh with their husbands, joke around with them, and by all appearances, it seems like they love them. I guess they are not that different from many battered wives in the US. Except that in Afghanistan, there is nowhere for them to go.

What's In a Name?

Here in Afghanistan I have six names. Erin is hard for them to pronounce, and everyone I've met has just given me a different Afghan name. I haven't found one that I like enough to introduce myself by it to other people, and so I am known as Nooria, Nazaka, Ghotul, Nazanine, Hamdiya, and sometimes Erin.

So, if I come home and you feel like making up a name and calling me me it, that's fine. I will just be happy if it is prettier than Ghotul.

Afghan Star

Have you ever considered auditioning for American Idol? If you have, but have been too shy, I would like to suggest an alternative that might guarantee success. Just come to Afghanistan and try the Afghan version- you could be the next AFGHAN IDOL! First of all, there are no women, (not in this city's show) so ladies, you are probably sure to win... secondly, you will be the only one singing instead of chanting about Allah... and thirdly, doesn't being judged by men in turbans sound like an interesting experience regardless? I mean, what will their comments about your singing really be?

How I wish you could have seen it. It was priceless. The funny thing when I saw this show was when a man came up to chant that they thought was really bad. And just like the real American Idol, the turbaned judges were laughing and making fun of him the whole time he was chanting, and cut him off early with, "That's enough.... that's enough!" I have since been told by Afghans that there is a version of American Idol in many nearby countries. Who knew!

Unexpected

Many things are unexpected here. Things that when you wake up, never cross your mind. Like…

Coming home four days ago to find a snake that we think was a cobra outside our front door, with its hood up, doing its little dance. Dr. H’s husband killed it with a rock. It was a little one. Then finding bigger snake trails when we started looking.

And getting electrocuted while taking a shower this morning was a real shock. (That’s for you, Rob Shelton.) Sure, it was over pretty quickly, and my lesson’s learned: Never pour a cup of water over your head BEFORE unplugging the portable water heater from the 220 volt outlet and sticking your hand back in the bucket at the same time. Did I really graduate from college?

Driving

Stud

"Well, here I am. What were your other two wishes?"

Little America

It was a quick trip, but I spent two days in America this weekend. (Thursday and Friday are the weekend here.) I drove a car, ate Burger King, shopped for index cards and Hershey's kisses... and saw tons of other Americans. Yes, this is all 100% true!

I went to the Coalition base on Thursday. Three American friends and I found out that for some reason, right now, anyone with an American passport can get on. This is not usually the case- sometimes you have to be (literally) dying to get onto the base. But in the chance that it was true and we could actually eat American fast food... we spent our free day driving out there in the hopes they would let us on for no good reason. And our plan succeeded! I ate a hamburger and fries from Burger King, chocolate soft serve ice cream, and a Starbuck's-like iced coffee drink, all while seeing people either dressed in shorts and t-shirts or in military fatigues with guns slung around their shoulders. Not only this, but we were wearing jeans and t-shirts with our hair down. Yay! It was so refreshing- just like being home for a few hours.

Unfortunately I found out later that something I did on the base qualifies for me to have been shot on the spot. Luckily, I didn't know at the time and it wasn't a big deal.

Before this trip, I'd never been to a military base before. It really suprised me. I thought it would look more permanent. I don't think I'm supposed to give out a lot of information so it will suffice to say that after going, I have an extreme amount of respect for the soldiers who are serving here. While we were sitting there eating ice cream, having a blast, it suddenly occurred to me that the men we were seeing walk past could very well leave the base in a few hours and be shot. Their service here is so much more dangerous than ours. We have the luxury of blending into the community and not being recognized. They are moving targets from the moment they leave the base.

I was almost in awe of them. Although its a completely different strategy for helping the people, with a very different political motivation, I feel a deep sense of respect and compassion for these men and women who were called up for service here- some of whom are giving up their lives, and all of them risking it, without the majority of America giving them the recognition they deserve for the war they are fighting and the courage they've shown in this country.

The second day in America happened when these same friends and I went to a barbeque here held by a business. You see, there are two types of organizations in this city. Those of us who are working for NGOs and basically volunteer, and then there are those who are making lots and LOTS of money to be here. And the two groups, up until yesterday, didn't really even know about the presence of the other individuals. My friends who have been here for years met other expats last night who have been here for years, and for these years, they have never known of the other's coexistence. But somehow the two groups were introduced recently and we all got together to have Western steaks. It was like being home- but also felt very strange. Part of me thinks all of us at that party were crazy. What on earth are we all doing here? But crazy people are also pretty interesting. For instance, it was interesting meeting the correspondents for the New York Times and the Guardian having just returned from the front line where all the fighting recently ceased.

It was just the little break I needed... now back to Afghanistan.

War

Sometimes I forget that there really is a war here. For the first four weeks I was here, the sounds of war were fairly common, especially at night. For a long time, I didn't even realize what I was hearing. However, the large military operation that has been going on just west of the city finished a few days ago and now, by the sound of it, you would think there is relative peace. But what is peaceful here?

Just a few days ago, the coalition governments were handing out compensation through an Afghan NGO- compensation for families whose homes were destroyed in the military operations. We hear that there are many refugees in the city now and I met some at a home we visited yesterday. Everyone is trying to get out of the villages which are unstable right now. We also heard from Western media that over 500 people were killed in the operations. Maybe they were Taliban, maybe they were Pakistanis, maybe they were Arabs, maybe they were Afghan civilians. The Taliban denies that many were killed. Who will ever know the truth? But rumors like these remind me that people's lives are being destroyed all around us.

Yesterday, our language teacher was searching for a word to describe Afghanistan to us and he ended up saying, "What word do you use when there IS no government?" So we settled on anarchy. The situation is very complex but basically... the government in the capital really has very little power of most of the southern part of this country. The international forces are trying to maintain stability, and it is admirable, but there are so many deep, systemic problems in this country that it will really take years of persistent change to make a lasting difference.

Stars

Tonight I had a unique experience. I can count on one hand the number of times I've gone outside without a veil in these last six weeks. Actually on two fingers. And one of them was tonight… I ate dinner at a friend's house, and when it was over, instead of taking a rickshaw like normal, her driver drove me home in their car. This meant that I could ride with my veil up since it was dark outside. As we were driving along, the air-conditioning blew on my face and I happened to look up and see the stars. I started crying because it just felt so normal and free. And it was so beautiful. The air is not polluted here and I haven't seen anything that beautiful in some time. And my heart was also crying for the women who rarely see anything without the veil here. Something I've realized is that I don't even notice it anymore. I don't even notice what I'm missing. Its no wonder they don't either.

The Wedding

These little girls were so precious. The one in the blue lives in the other half of our house.



Weddings are also separated by gender, and only the groom and little boys are allowed at the women's wedding. These are wearing the tradional Afghan dress. The one on the left has his embroidered- the embroidery in this part of Afghanistan is some of the finest in the world.



Afghans love flowers, and the little girls at the wedding picked almost a hundred flowers for me!

Sorry there are no other pictures of women, I was the only woman at the wedding would allow me to take a picture. But here are some cute faces...



They are giving thumbs up because we're American. (The orange on their thumbs is henna.) They begged me to teach them English, which resulted in me saying a body part of number, and them enthusiastically repeating it in unison. Who can help but love these little kids??

Dr. H

This is Dr. H.

(Besides the burqa (or chaderi), women here often wear this Iranian headpiece with two flaps. One flap covers the back of your head and one flap covers the front but can be easily pulled back. The upside of this type of chaddar is that you have peripheral vision and can breath much more easily. The downside is that at night you cannot see a darn thing.)

Dr. H is really an amazing woman. It is hard to see the things she sees on a daily basis and to continue living and working here without getting burned out or frustrated. Way to go, Dr. H!

Medicating in Afghanistan

Working with Dr. H has really opened my eyes to the reality of life here for the ordinary Afghan. Usually, the sequence of events for a patient is as follows:

1) Symptoms arise. Patient goes to a cheap local doctor.
2) Doctor gives at least ten prescriptions to patient.
3) Patient fills prescriptions and problems persist.
4) Patient goes to a mullah.
5) Mullah does a somewhat mystical ritual.
6) Problem persists.
7) Patient goes to a more expensive foreign doctor.
8) Doctor is horrified at previous diagnoses and prescriptions and has to try to convince uneducated patient that he is correct in diagnosing the real problem.

The picture above is of medication given to one of Dr. H's patients. This woman went to a local doctor for infertility. The doctor, without taking a history, prescribed four drugs contraintdicated for pregnant women, two antibiotics, iron, a cream for vaginal irritation, an antifungal, ibuprofen, naproxen, and told her to rub Dettol on her stomach (which is a surface disinfectant). One drug was also prescribed to increase the number of eggs released during ovulation.

However, after coming to our house, Dr. H found that this girl's real problem was her educated husband. He didn't want a child, and was refusing intercourse during her fertile period. Although there could be other problems, it may have been as simple as that. We also recently saw a woman who has been to many doctors over the years for chronic backpain, but after a simple five-minute examination, it became obvious to Dr. H that this woman had scoliosis. None of the other doctors ever checked for that. It is the frequency of such malpractice that is really disturbing here. People are rarely ever correctly diagnosed and treated by local doctors, some of whom have simply read a medical book from Pakistan and opened a stall in the bazaar.

J-man

This is the J-man. He lives with me. Although he's only three years old, J-man is very, very smart. For only being three, he has a huge vocabulary. For two weeks, J-man wouldn't talk to me at all and the only face I saw was frowning. But after a few weeks of tickling (he only threw up once!) he has warmed up some and now calls me Ate Erin (Ate means big sister in Tegolag).



He posed with his gun for this shot.



Since he knows lots of words, we played Scrabble.

Outside My House

This is the view for men from right outside our gate.



And this is the view for women.

The View From Inside

So what does it look like from inside the chaderi? This is generally what the women here see when they go outside.



And now here's the view looking down...



And if your eyeholes get moved, you can't see at all and that's the worst.

Crazy

Life has been so crazy. I wish I could explain everything! Where to start...

Many things happened at home in the States these last few weeks, and I don't think a public blog is an acceptable forum to broadcast them on. But they were very sad. Heartbreaking. The fragility of happiness hits home at such times. The good news is that nothing is all bad. Good can come out of anything and I am sure it is going to come out of even the sad things taking place back home.

The good news is that everything here is wonderful. Really. I don't think there could have been better timing for me to be here (other than that I can't be with my family now). We are getting into our daily routines, which include: language lessons, working in a midwifery clinic, and cultural experiences galore. Last night, I went to a wedding. Wow. There's no way I can even describe what it was like. The women here are so beautiful and they love to dress up. So it was, along with being one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen, one of the most fun nights of my life. This is definitely a land of contrasts and I find that true in my own life here as well. More to come later. Above is a picture from the wedding.

The Big Move

So last Saturday, I moved in with the doctor I'll be working with this fall. She and her husband rent half of an Afghan family's house, so its kind of like living with Afghans too. I am really enjoying the new situation, Dr. H and I are able to leave frequently and another team family lives just down the street, so its very convenient for us to visit them too.

Last night, we had one big dinner together, so everyone could get acquainted. This was quite an experience, as the mother of the family had decided she was going to teach Dr. H how to cook Afghan-style. So we started at 4:40pm and we finished cooking around 7:30-8:00 ish. So when we khoreji (foreigners) go over to some Afghan person's house and the lovely food is suddenly served to us, I now know exactly how much work and how many hours go into it. Its crazy that they are used to doing this every day.

The dinner was great! But this is really abnormal, for Dr. H's husband to be able to sit and eat with the women from this Afghan family, seeing their faces and everything. However, this family just returned from Iran, where they lived for 25 years. So they don't have a problem with it. When I covered my face in front of one of the men, he was like, "Why are you doing that?" Sometimes it is difficult to know what to do here. There's such a range of ideas among families as to what is appropriate and what is not. This family is ok with an unrelated man seeing his wife and daughters. But other families don't let their wives' husbands see their other daughters. So just being flexible and going with the flow is key.

I do love it here. The food is awesome. No sickness as of yet. Its getting so cool that last night I got up around 3 and changed out shorts for pants! It was actually a little cold!

Final Destination

Yay! I have reached where I'll be living this fall and don't have to take any more sketchy Russian plane flights- yikes. As we flew on a Russian airline from the city in the west to the capital, I kept thinking about this tv show I caught about five minutes of where a Russian plane crashed. Luckily our flight was fine. But just yesterday a Russian plane crashed in the Ukraine.

So for the last two weeks, I have been living with a family while the doctor I'll be working with this fall gets settled in (she just arrived back from a short vacation). I will be living in this southern city until December. I don't get to check my email very much so I'm sorry I haven't been keeping up well with the blog! Hopefully, after I move in with the doctor in a few days it will be better.

I am really loving it here! I can't wait until we get into a routine and I'm really excited to share stories about the local people. Actually, it hasn't been hard to switch over to life here. The funny thing is that I thought the worst part of culture shock would be having to take cold showers... which I despise... but actually, since its so hot, my worst fear has turned out to be the best part of the day!

Here's a short story and a few pictures. If the internet keeps working I'll post more.

Independence Day Birthday Party

So last Saturday was the Afghan Independence Day from the British. Complete with fireworks and the singing of the national anthem on Ariana tv. I was fortunate enough to be invited to an Afghan birthday party! Which are usually nonexistent, as Afghan people don't really keep track of birthdays. But this little girl was born on a holiday, and she asked for a party, so she got one!



The birthday girl herself, turning 6 years old.



We can assume it says happy birthday. But who knows really.



I was suprised how alike it was to our birthday parties, and even more so when they busted out the party hats! Ok and this little boy was wearing western clothes, but he's the first I've seen. Every little boy here wears Afghan clothing. 

Hot

Yes, its hot here! But not as bad as it could have been. Its gone from 50 degrees celcius (around 122 farenheit) to only being 38 and in the forties. Yippee!

Pictures

This the view from the plane to the city we're staying in.



This is a little shop that has just about any souvenir you could want. Its called the Blue Glass Shop.



The blue glass from here is famous around the entire world. The art has been practiced here for thousands of years. You can go next door to the shop and watch them melt, throw, and blow the glass.



You can also get a magic lamp.