Silence

I close my eyes tonight and its silent. No bombs go off and none are going to. I probably won't hear any choppers flying low overhead, either. I think of my friends who are back there and wonder what they will hear when nightfall comes for them.

Something I found really strange, after arriving in Afghanistan, was that the news media- concerned mostly with Iraq- had not really been reporting exactly what was going on in southern Afghanistan. And I read it daily. They did report that Operation Mountain Thrust had begun, but few details were given. Perhaps because not many reporters were there. But anyone living in southern Afgh at that time realized that the major military operation meant nightly battles and bombing just outside the city in a district called Panjaway, that were killing "insurgents." Or civilians.

A few days ago I read an account on http://www.aopnews.com (in my opinion, the best site for almost current, daily news on Afgh). It was written by a Canadian soldier and was about a battle he took part in on the Afghan Independence day last August 19th. We heard the gunfire that night but had no idea about what was really happening. It saddened me to hear him write that 120-130 Afghans had been killed by the ISAF troops that night... just after I went to Sehar's birthday party and we walked back to watch the fireworks.

What bothered me the most, and still does, is that our military has not really accounted for proving that who they kill in southern Afghanistan are really insurgents or not. If they don't know, they just put "suspected insurgents" in the report and get on with it. In this way it seems they can get away with civilian deaths much easier. But in a country where poverty and warlords are forcing villagers to choose sides, sometimes saying you choose the Taliban means life or food, whether you care whose 'side' you are on or not. It saddens me to realize that maybe in the midst of all the chaos we are just killing Afghan people.

It really confuses me why we don't redirect the billions of dollars that are being wasted by shamefully corrupt officials or spent on reconstruction (when the schools in the south are being burned back down or closed again) just toward trying to pay the Afghan National Army more than the Taliban pay fighters to join them. Because the Afghans who are trying to support the legitimate government and do actually join the Afghan military make a shamefully small salary. Rumor is, after all, the main reason villagers join the Taliban is the pay. But I'm not a military expert so I hope that the UN or USAID has some great answer for that I haven't thought of yet.

I think that's it for tonight.