We hear all kinds of crazy stories, pretty much daily now, of medical nightmares. Things you would not want to happen to your dog. Things that should definitely never happen to living human beings. I don't know if an association like the one above exists or not, but if one does, I think I should get to be an honorary member.
Everyone knows I have crazy dreams almost every night. Now, I cannot believe I didn't see this coming. I have started experiencing some medical nightmares of my own during the noctural hours. They are insane! I've started dreaming of procedures we learned about in class that day...being done on ME! But they have these horrible twists, like instead of medical instruments the PAs or nurses will be using broken pieces of glass... or they refuse to intubate me when I am suffocating and I wake up gasping for air. And these dreams are SO REAL.
I had one, early on in anatomy, the day we dissected the heart. In class, I had to wash the blood out of the heart and it took a long time so I think the visual of that human heart in my hands got lodged in my unconscious. That night I dreamed I had elective open heart surgery... to dissect my own heart while I was conscious.
OH. This cannot go on. The people these things happen to in real life get a blank check from the hospital. I'm getting nothing. My only compensation is the flood of relief that comes when I realize all my vital organs are still in working order. Where, oh where, is the MNVAA??
Sunday, September 30, 2007
Sunday, September 23, 2007
My Niece
Hey everyone, my niece Kiersten was hit by a car last Friday and snapped her femur in half. She was extremely lucky because that's all that happened. They did surgery Friday night and put a metal plate in it. She'll be in the hospital until Monday (the dates on my blog are messed up- today isn't Monday.) Please be praying for her and her family. We are so relieved that she will be fine.
Hasta la Vista, GI
We just finished our section on gastroenterology. I am so relieved!! The weekend after our clinical medicine tests are like a little piece of heaven. We start pulmonology on Monday.
Everything is going pretty good. We have a month off for Christmas break and I just booked a trip to Salt Lake City to visit a good friend who is living out there. I can't wait!
Right now I am just enjoying being in school and still spend my study breaks reading the news as is apparent on the next post. I probably need to find something else to do.
Everything is going pretty good. We have a month off for Christmas break and I just booked a trip to Salt Lake City to visit a good friend who is living out there. I can't wait!
Right now I am just enjoying being in school and still spend my study breaks reading the news as is apparent on the next post. I probably need to find something else to do.
Friday, September 21, 2007
We have met the enemy, and he is us.
I cried reading the new all week. Why do we want to start wars with nations that haven't attacked us?
I feel strongly about the prejudice some Americans have for Iran because it is exactly that: blind prejudice. Have you read some of the comments on NYT articles lately? I was ashamed. Ahmadinejad doesn't have blond hair; he looks like the Arabs who committed 9/11. And our Zionist president has labeled him on an "axis of evil" that, interestingly, other world leaders we respect less are NOT on. After all, why aren't Sudanese militia leaders on that list? Or Mugabe? Or anyone else who has caused intense suffering in Africa? Hmm..
I'm not saying Iran is innocent. No nation is. But like Iraq, they had nothing to do with 9/11. The real terrorists in 9/11 were Saudi Arabians, who are ARABS. Iranian people are Persian. They are an ENTIRELY DIFFERENT ETHNIC GROUP. They just look alike and live near each other. Not a good reason to attack them.
The CIA did a special report and concluded that is it, in fact, not proven that Ahmadinejad had anything to do with the American hostage crisis thirty years ago.
Iran was attacked by Saddam Hussein and underwent a very long and painful war in the 80's during which they were repeatedly the victims of chemical warfare. The religious head of Iran condemned this type of warfare and Iran NEVER USED chemical warfare back on moral grounds. They don't believe in using chemical (or nuclear) weapons. Reagan's administration, however, knew about the chemical warfare being used against Iranian civilians and continued to support Iraq militarily.
Countless teenage Iranian soldiers sacrificed themselves in human wave attacks- knowingly walking onto land planted with mines in order to clear it for the trained Iranian army to cross over.
Iran is building schools and clinics in the city I lived in last fall. They are also responsible for a ton of power and roads in Afghanistan. They are doing really good things for their poor neighbor in the fight against terrorism and the Taliban. Hamid Karzai himself has declared this over and over and Bush has had to belittle Afghanistan's president to try and deny it.
America has destroyed Iraq and we really need a scapegoat; so the administration is claiming that Iran is behind a bunch of attacks in Iraq. This is COMPLETE crap. I hope we don't attack a second nation that has absolutely nothing to do with Al Qaeda and destroy the lives of millions of ordinary citizens. Once was too much.
God save Iran from us.
I feel strongly about the prejudice some Americans have for Iran because it is exactly that: blind prejudice. Have you read some of the comments on NYT articles lately? I was ashamed. Ahmadinejad doesn't have blond hair; he looks like the Arabs who committed 9/11. And our Zionist president has labeled him on an "axis of evil" that, interestingly, other world leaders we respect less are NOT on. After all, why aren't Sudanese militia leaders on that list? Or Mugabe? Or anyone else who has caused intense suffering in Africa? Hmm..
I'm not saying Iran is innocent. No nation is. But like Iraq, they had nothing to do with 9/11. The real terrorists in 9/11 were Saudi Arabians, who are ARABS. Iranian people are Persian. They are an ENTIRELY DIFFERENT ETHNIC GROUP. They just look alike and live near each other. Not a good reason to attack them.
The CIA did a special report and concluded that is it, in fact, not proven that Ahmadinejad had anything to do with the American hostage crisis thirty years ago.
Iran was attacked by Saddam Hussein and underwent a very long and painful war in the 80's during which they were repeatedly the victims of chemical warfare. The religious head of Iran condemned this type of warfare and Iran NEVER USED chemical warfare back on moral grounds. They don't believe in using chemical (or nuclear) weapons. Reagan's administration, however, knew about the chemical warfare being used against Iranian civilians and continued to support Iraq militarily.
Countless teenage Iranian soldiers sacrificed themselves in human wave attacks- knowingly walking onto land planted with mines in order to clear it for the trained Iranian army to cross over.
Iran is building schools and clinics in the city I lived in last fall. They are also responsible for a ton of power and roads in Afghanistan. They are doing really good things for their poor neighbor in the fight against terrorism and the Taliban. Hamid Karzai himself has declared this over and over and Bush has had to belittle Afghanistan's president to try and deny it.
America has destroyed Iraq and we really need a scapegoat; so the administration is claiming that Iran is behind a bunch of attacks in Iraq. This is COMPLETE crap. I hope we don't attack a second nation that has absolutely nothing to do with Al Qaeda and destroy the lives of millions of ordinary citizens. Once was too much.
God save Iran from us.
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
Medicine, you have a place in my heart after all.
I realized, a few days ago, something really strange. I spent 16 months preparing and applying to a medical program AND... I never, ever thought through what medicine actually is or what it would mean to practice it. Hmm.
This is possibly the strangest realization of my life. I really spent countless hours on something that I didn't think through. I made a decision about my LIFE OCCUPATION based on zero logical thought processes. I mean, I knew I liked science but science doesn't have that much to do with medicine; I certainly never sat down and thought about intubating babies, writing prescriptions, or doing emergency tracheotomies.
It probably would have helped if the words "medical practice" had crossed my mind. But the real reason I never asked myself if I liked medicine was because I just believed that God wanted me to go to PA school. And figured that it had something to do with helping poor people in the end.
But now, I find myself sitting in our classes, LOVING learning about pathologies and treatments. I get really, really, really excited thinking about rotations and diagnosing patients and healing people. These things are making me so excited for the future!
And so I realize, on a deeper level than ever, that God truly knows me better than I know myself. He is the one who guided me into a profession he knew I would love. I entrusted my whole life to Him, and He led me to something that He knew would bring me deep satisfaction and fulfillment. And honestly, though I should have thought it through, God didn't need me to. That's how it is with the Lord; if you think it through, it will probably make sense in the end, if not in the beginning; but you really can just trust Him.
This is possibly the strangest realization of my life. I really spent countless hours on something that I didn't think through. I made a decision about my LIFE OCCUPATION based on zero logical thought processes. I mean, I knew I liked science but science doesn't have that much to do with medicine; I certainly never sat down and thought about intubating babies, writing prescriptions, or doing emergency tracheotomies.
It probably would have helped if the words "medical practice" had crossed my mind. But the real reason I never asked myself if I liked medicine was because I just believed that God wanted me to go to PA school. And figured that it had something to do with helping poor people in the end.
But now, I find myself sitting in our classes, LOVING learning about pathologies and treatments. I get really, really, really excited thinking about rotations and diagnosing patients and healing people. These things are making me so excited for the future!
And so I realize, on a deeper level than ever, that God truly knows me better than I know myself. He is the one who guided me into a profession he knew I would love. I entrusted my whole life to Him, and He led me to something that He knew would bring me deep satisfaction and fulfillment. And honestly, though I should have thought it through, God didn't need me to. That's how it is with the Lord; if you think it through, it will probably make sense in the end, if not in the beginning; but you really can just trust Him.
Saturday, September 08, 2007
Dreams
Sometimes it really sucks to wake up in the morning. This last week, for me, its had little to do with sleepiness. I keep having these really intense, hope-I-can-sleep-a-little-longer-to-find-out-what-happens kind of dreams. Here are some synopses from the last few nights:
I wake up one morning and a friend of mine has died and left me her tiny, newborn, still pink-faced infant. The thing is so tiny I have no idea how I'm going to feed it, find it daycare, and still be on time to class at 8 a.m.
My dad convinces me to cut off my feet for an experiment and tells me it will be easy to get them back on. We do, and it doesn't hurt, and it isn't until the next day when I am trying to hobble around on stumps that I have the horrible realization that he was wrong, and its permanent, and WHAT AM I GOING TO DO WITHOUT FEET?!!
Some friends from PA school and I are lost in Middle Earth. We can see the Misty Mountains but we have no idea where we are exactly or how to get to Gondor and out of the grasp of the Dark Lord... until we find the Robert L. Byrd library, look on a map, and realize that we are in Osgiliath.
I am somewhere off the coast of South America. Probably Ecuador. A good old friend and I join up with some strangers and a hoary old captain and skipper a small boat across the Pacific. Halfway through the voyage, we realize that the old captain hasn't come out of his cabin for a couple weeks and is probably dead. My friend goes in to check and...
Some lady from Blue Cross Blue Shield called and woke me up! It appears that one will remain a mystery for now. But sometimes I dream the same dream later and finish it, so if I find out what happens I'll let you know.
I wake up one morning and a friend of mine has died and left me her tiny, newborn, still pink-faced infant. The thing is so tiny I have no idea how I'm going to feed it, find it daycare, and still be on time to class at 8 a.m.
My dad convinces me to cut off my feet for an experiment and tells me it will be easy to get them back on. We do, and it doesn't hurt, and it isn't until the next day when I am trying to hobble around on stumps that I have the horrible realization that he was wrong, and its permanent, and WHAT AM I GOING TO DO WITHOUT FEET?!!
Some friends from PA school and I are lost in Middle Earth. We can see the Misty Mountains but we have no idea where we are exactly or how to get to Gondor and out of the grasp of the Dark Lord... until we find the Robert L. Byrd library, look on a map, and realize that we are in Osgiliath.
I am somewhere off the coast of South America. Probably Ecuador. A good old friend and I join up with some strangers and a hoary old captain and skipper a small boat across the Pacific. Halfway through the voyage, we realize that the old captain hasn't come out of his cabin for a couple weeks and is probably dead. My friend goes in to check and...
Some lady from Blue Cross Blue Shield called and woke me up! It appears that one will remain a mystery for now. But sometimes I dream the same dream later and finish it, so if I find out what happens I'll let you know.
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