Medicine, you have a place in my heart after all.

I realized, a few days ago, something really strange. I spent 16 months preparing and applying to a medical program AND... I never, ever thought through what medicine actually is or what it would mean to practice it. Hmm.

This is possibly the strangest realization of my life. I really spent countless hours on something that I didn't think through. I made a decision about my LIFE OCCUPATION based on zero logical thought processes. I mean, I knew I liked science but science doesn't have that much to do with medicine; I certainly never sat down and thought about intubating babies, writing prescriptions, or doing emergency tracheotomies.

It probably would have helped if the words "medical practice" had crossed my mind. But the real reason I never asked myself if I liked medicine was because I just believed that God wanted me to go to PA school. And figured that it had something to do with helping poor people in the end.

But now, I find myself sitting in our classes, LOVING learning about pathologies and treatments. I get really, really, really excited thinking about rotations and diagnosing patients and healing people. These things are making me so excited for the future!

And so I realize, on a deeper level than ever, that God truly knows me better than I know myself. He is the one who guided me into a profession he knew I would love. I entrusted my whole life to Him, and He led me to something that He knew would bring me deep satisfaction and fulfillment. And honestly, though I should have thought it through, God didn't need me to. That's how it is with the Lord; if you think it through, it will probably make sense in the end, if not in the beginning; but you really can just trust Him.