Those things are HUGE!

So, I have always had a hard time smelling things. I never knew why until last week. We were doing ENT (ear, nose and throat) exams on each other when the girl who was looking up my nose said, "I think you have nasal polyps!" So we get the instructor to come over, and sure enough, I have two huge, very anteriorly-located nasal polyps- one in each nostril.

So nasal polyps cause anosmia, or a decreased sense of smell. I feel so vindicated!! My lack of smell is indeed a physical anomaly that has also probably been the cause of frequent nasal congestion. Whenever I get a cold or allergies, my nasal mucosa tries to swell and has nowhere to go because those things are HUGE!

I think its funny, though, that I have been to doctors all my life and they have never, ever looked up my nose. The next time you are at your doctor just ask them to and maybe you will get a little nasaly surprise.

We started fall classes today.

This fall we have physiology, physical diagnosis, and clinical medicine. Clinical medicine will actually be six different sections that we have to pass individually (so they are a little like different classes). I am stoked and feel really excited, but I also don't feel ready. Its weird that you can work toward something for as many as five years and then feel totally unprepared when it happens!

Last weekend was a blast. I can't remember when I've had so much fun... or maybe it just seemed so fun because we weren't studying. I think this weekend my brother's family will be here to help my mom move into her new house. I am really excited to see them and hopefully things won't have picked up too much yet. That seeems to be all the news on this side... love you all and take care!

P.S., At this point the Taliban has killed two of the hostages and freed two of them. Please keep praying for them.

Oklahoma: Working Toward Not Being As Boring.

Maybe everyone already knows this. But I just found out today that part of the MAPS project was a really nice boathouse for rowing and crew along the Oklahoma river. Now finished and located just south of Bricktown on Lincoln, the Chesapeake Boathouse is a boat lover's hotspot and offers rowing lessons, clubs, rentals, etc along 7 miles of the scenic Oklahoma river. Check it out at ChesapeakeBoathouse.org. You can rent a two person kayak for $7.50 per person per hour, or a one person kayak for $10 an hour. You can also join the boathouse for an annual membership fee and dragonboat or kayak anytime.

I am stoked! I think I'll go this weekend.

Seven More Days, Happiness and Dreams

Our anatomy class is over in seven days. Sigh of relief...

However, yesterday I realized that even with all the school stuff going on, life seems to be the happiest its been for a long time. I am so thankful for that!! I don't think it would be possible to be in a better place in life or happier. I am so grateful for the friends and family who are such amazing people. I am so thankful to be in school learning so many cool things. I am so thankful to be living in great apartments that are really peaceful and have a beautiful lake that can be run around at sunset every evening. I am really thankful to have a brand new, awesome little red fish named Ivanhoe. (He's really cute, anyone who wants is invited to come see him!!!) I am just so grateful for life. Even though I know seasons of happiness and sadness come and go, I'm so glad to be in such a peaceful place for the time being.

I also went out after our last test and bought some plants to put out on my balcony. It had been looking pretty bare. As I was buying them, I suddenly remembered something that happened almost ten years ago on an orchestra trip to London.

I had never been out of the country, and the first morning we arrived, they took us on a bus tour of the city. We were driving around, seeing all these amazing things you only see in pictures- Big Ben, the Tower of London, Buckingham Palace... and as we took in all the sights, I remember driving by a bunch of English flats. They all had balconies filled with bright green plants. And I hoped to myself that someday, I would have an apartment of my own with a refreshing little balcony just like that.

So, when I brought these gorgeous new plants home a few nights ago, I made a dream that was almost ten years old come true. Its such a little thing- but it was so weird how I realized that all of us, as life changes, sometimes get to see our dreams come true. Its beautiful!! But its hard to believe how long they can take. I think if someone would have told me then that I wouldn't have that balcony for ten years, I would have been really sad or wouldn't have cared if it had happened at all, ever. But now I see that it was worth the wait. (Especially since I forgot I was waiting.)

I'm really hoping that being a PA will be much the same. A dream that seems to take forever but is worth coming true...

Signs

Tonight at Lifechurch, Craig's main message from the "At the Movies" movie Signs was... when strange things happen, do you see it as the hand of God or as a coincidence?

I thought about this for awhile and was surprised to find out something a little weird about how I have always thought of things. First, it seems that if things happen out of the blue, then I totally accept them as the hand of God and his intervention into life. Don't usually question it.

But, the really weird thing I realized, is that if I pray for something from God- and then it happens, I usually wonder at least once if it was really him answering my prayer or if it was just a coincidence. Isn't this weird?

So I started thinking- have there been any signs lately I haven't noticed? All I had to do, upon arrival home from church tonight, was to look back in my journal. This shed a lot of light on the matter. Back in May, I prayed for two very specific things. I don't want to share but they were SPECIFIC. And I was praying really hard for these things... for about a month.Then, PA school happened. I was consumed with all of the new things to do and totally forgot about my prayer. Then, within three days of PA school starting, out of the blue the two things I prayed for happened.

But the weird thing? I never even wrote them down in my journal or remembered I had asked for them! It was as if these two answers to prayer came and it didn't even cross my mind that God had just provided what I had asked for so fervently. In looking back, I guess at the time they seemed like coincidences to me. Only now does it all become clear.

And I know its not just because I asked for them that they happened. They happened because they have a place in the plan of God, like all affirmative answers to prayer. "The Lord works out everything for his own ends..." And yet, "Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart."

One More

One more war rant, then I'm done for awhile I promise.

The US is almost completely finished with an almost 600 million embassy in Baghdad, the largest US embassy anywhere in the world, complete with its own power supply, water purfication system, wells, apartments, and palm tree-lined swimming pools.

As Iraqis walk by our more than half a billion dollar luxury establishment through their own blown-up streets to wait in gas lines, this embassy shows Iraqis that we do indeed have the resources and ability to build reliable infrastructure. Just not on them. And, that our current administration and their war profiteering oil mongers have no intention of leaving Iraq's huge pool of oil, ever.

I have to go buy some gas now.

Surprised by a Lovely Snack.

Last night my 8 year old niece spent the night. Now, this child has the most optimistic and precious heart and a very sweet disposition. So as we were leaving to go to my house and she told me she was going to make me a "special snack," the following ensued.

"I make it all the time, and everyone always loves it!" she said happily.

"How do you know that I have all the ingredients you'll need to make it?" I asked.

"Oh, its easy!" she replied. "Everyone has them. I just need flour, sugar, and baking powder. Do you have those Aunt Erin?"

"Yes I do," I said.

"Oh, and do you have an oven?" she added.

"Yes, I do have an oven," I replied.

"And chocolate chips?" Followed hopefully.

"Well, no. I don't have any chocolate chips."

"Okay, well that's fine. Then that's all I'll need. Flour, sugar, baking power- oh, and ham."

"Ham?!!" I said with some alarm.

"Yep, ham. You've got some ham?"

"Um, no. Actually I don't. Wait, I do have some lunch meat ham. Will that work?" I said hesitatingly, still somewhat uncertain of what this random pork item was doing being tossed into what had up to this point seemed like a harmless cookie recipe.

"Yes, yes. that should work just fine. Oh, and actually, I don't need the oven."

I was mystified at this point. "Jensen, let me get this straight. You are going to make something out of flour, sugar, baking powder, and ham- without an oven?"

She smiled up at me. "Yes! We do it all the time."

Okay, I thought. Whatever. I am a really easy going aunt. Let's just see what she makes.

After getting to my apartment and swimming for awhile, while I was in the shower rinsing off she went to work in the kitchen. Little did I know that a few new items were getting tossed into the mix- some pears that she had harvested the night before from the tree in my mom's backyard as well as a carefully hoarded after-dinner mint from Pei Wei's Asian Diner procured at a previous unspecified mealtime.

I came out of the shower to find a gigantic mess in the kitchen, and two finished, um... "snacks." Thankfully, it turned out that there was actually no ham involved. Like many things small children say I have no idea where she got that, but I know it made sense to her at the time. Here was her masterpiece.



Yes, that is an unbaked drizzle of flour, sugar, water, and baking powder on a plate frosted with granulated sugar and slices of pear.



Its a little blurry, but perhaps you can discern that mine is garnished with the aforementioned, strategically positioned after-dinner mint. Only slightly less obvious might be the whole lot of lovin' she added that made it all worthwhile.

Please Pray.

Yesterday at 5pm, 18 Korean workers were kidnapped on their way to Kandahar. At this point it seems that they were entirely a visiting group, no long term workers were among them, and they are mostly young adults. Please, please be in prayer for this group of young people who are now being held by the Taliban.

Some of you may remember the post about the doctors who stopped and humbled themselves to wash and feed street children. Those doctors and their colleagues are the long-term workers who invited this group and were expecting them. Please be prayer for the entire community of expatriate workers in this city and please pray that the Taliban will have mercy on those being held.

Things That Are Really Too Important Not to Think About, No Matter How Busy You Are.

A new study by the Congressional Reasearch Service reported that the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan now cost 12 billion dollars per month. That's right, billion with a B! 10 billion for Iraq, and 2 billion for Afghanistan. Now, I am the first person to really not care so much about money. BUT... doesn't this sound crazy to anyone else?? Even if you are not into math... WOW! We have now spent almost half a trillion dollars on the wars, and President Bush has another 147 billion dollar proposal for them pending!

As my sister and Nancy Pelosi have recently said, think of all that this money could have done. We could have rehauled the health care system, provided for schools and education, enforced the borders, invested in alternative energy, or heck- we could have rebuilt Banda Aceh from the freakin' ground up or educated and provided AIDS medicine to most of Africa! Anything but blowing apart other people's lives. Not to mention that we also would have thousands of living servicemen and women, and the deep and irreversible emotional and physical scarring of the recent war veterans could have been erased.

According to a recent gallup poll, 7 out of 10 Americans are now in favor of a troop pullout by April.

President Bush's approval rating is now only 29%.

Also, the principle author of the new National Intelligence Estimate on the Terrorist Threat to the US Homeland, Edward Gistaro, flatly stated that Al Qaeda in Iraq did not exist before the US invasion.

So it seems to me that the White House is spending 10 billion dollars a month to fuel a terrorist organization and a civil war. This... is... complete.... INSANITY!! There is just no other word.

Finally...

We took our first test today and I think... I am probably going to graduate from this program. Thank God! it was not nearly as bad as we all thought it would be. I just screamed for awhile in the car on the way home I was so excited that it looks like I am not going to fail this class.

Now, I happen to have one of two apartments in the entire complex which overlooks the neighborhood pool. I also happen to be able to hear, through my window, all the fun people are having when they are in said pool. It rained non-stop for almost the first three weeks the pool was open; now for the last three weeks my contact with the pool has been limited to overhearing other's great enjoyment of it.

But finally... this test is over and I AM GOING SWIMMING RIGHT NOW!!!

P.S., I just also have to thank the people who have been praying for me. I know that I made it through these last stressful weeks because of you guys. Thanks a lot. :)

Overwhelming, But Good.

Okay, it is totally overwhelming to have so much stuff to learn and what seems like never enough time to do it. For example- the last two weeks I have basically done nothing but school. I go to school and when I'm not in class I am at the library or my house studying or running around trying to get little things like student IDs and immunizations and parking permits done.

Yet, although I studied around four hours every day beforehand as well as a ridiculous amount of hours adding up to somewhere around 21 the two days before our mini-exam yesterday- I still only got 5 out of 10 questions right. And the scary thing is that I guessed on some of those!

My only relief was found in talking to other students who only got 3 or 4 right and they guessed on half of their correct answers, too. It was a sad, sad day in the anatomy lab yesterday as the reality of what we might have to give up this summer dawned.

So, I have a lot left to do before our real test next Monday. Its kind of depressing because in some ways I don't know how else I can study. Or, I can think of some ways, but they don't include sleep or food. Maybe I will give those a try this week...

Crap. This is going to be hard.

After going to my first anatomy class today, I realized that there is only one for for the next six weeks and word is-

GOODBYE. See you in six weeks.

We had a three hour lecture today on the nervous system. I was all there the first hour. I was 80% there the second hour. But by the third hour, it was down to like 40. I felt like I missed every other thing he said. It was impossible to write (OR type!) as fast as this man was talking. And I realized, that I have a LOT of studying to do.

So please understand that I am not dead, I am studying. See you sometime in the middle of August. :)

Suprise! You are going to PA school in three days.

-God

WOW!~ Now, I LOVE suprises but this one was just about too much for me. I think I have called and emailed half the world and Summer is finally back from Belize- its now all good to post the whole story on here.

Last Tuesday afternoon after work, I got a voicemail from the PA program. Just to "call them back," which is probably the most mysterious message they could have left. Unfortunately, it was 5:04pm, so calling back that night proved fruitless. I tried to calm down and not imagine that they were calling to tell me that I got in.

Wednesday morning at 11am, I found out the reason for the call. The school had not been able to contact a girl who had a prerequisite missing, and I was now #1 on the wait list. Although it wasn't an invitation to attend, it still shocked my pants off! I was totally suprised!

By Friday, I hadn't heard anything new and was about to DIE. I finally emailed the head of the program and asked if he knew what the heck was going on. He emailed me back three little words: "Call me now." So after getting ahold of him, the conversation went something like this...

"Hi Dr. McNeill."
"Hi Erin! What are you doing on Monday?"
"Well, I'm supposed to go to work..."
"Want to go to PA school instead?"

Most of you have already heard this story but I don't think I have EVER been more excited in my whole life!!!!!! I am actually going to PA school TOMORROW.

AHHHHHH!

Arkansas

So Ashlie, Evie and I went to Eureka Springs and Kings River over Memorial Day weekend.

We went up to the top of a lookout. The view was great-

But the stairs were a little steep.

Unfortunately, all the canoeing and kakying pictures were on the waterproof, non-digital camera. To be posted once scanned.

Reunions

I have been meaning to put pictures up forever and am just now getting around to it!! Here are the Johnson's with their adorable crew, Elly and Soren.

The big Q came to visit the same week. Boo to Memphis!

Edmond Christian Church Old Skool Reunion 2007, baby.
Rebecca, Holly, Chris, Casey, me, Tara and Summer.

Mina!! I went to visit my Afghan language helper from Fort Worth.

Divorce Settled

Just so everyone knows, my parents divorce was settled last week and they should be signing the papers and whatnot sometime this week. This is going to amazingly lower the amount of stress in our fam. Thanks to everyone who has been so supportive. Please continue your prayers as my mom moves into a new house sometime this summer.

Intertwining Threads...

So I really have been surprised to find that in the last few months, my political apathy has all but disappeared. Maybe part of it is having hours and hours of free time at work every day to research '08 presidential hopefuls, along with all the issues and their views... maybe part of it has been realizing that our current president is perhaps a great fellow but a really, REALLY horrible president. I find that the more things I know about his administration the more scared I am that he still has a year and a half to lead America.... yikes! I have also found that many of the issues that bothered me on so many levels are also important to many Americans, and that if we could just elect a leader who believed in them, too, then we could maybe fix this giant mess.

And I think that perhaps, just PERHAPS, there is someone. There may be an answer for America, instead of military tribunals and illegal extraditions, instead of torture and wiretapping and tax cuts for the wealthy- instead of going to war with the entire Middle East- maybe there is a candidate who has a real relationship with Jesus, who cares for the poor, who cares about immigrants, who cares about the environment, who will evacuate Iraq, who is rational and fairminded and has a knack for bipartianship... perhaps Barack Obama is the answer.

Spanx

While discussing something totally unrelated at work, I found out about spanx. These new hot undergarments are set to silence anxious party-goers minds about unwanted lines and cellulite. Check it out!

Being Settled

I moved the first of six times last July 17th. It was moving all my stuff back to Oklahoma from Texas. I had only been there two weeks when when I moved to Holly’s house in another country for two weeks. Then I moved to my team leader’s house in Afghanistan for two weeks, then I moved to Dr. H’s house for three months. Then I went to Dubai for a week, and moved back to my mom’s in Oklahoma for four months, then finally moved into my apartment 2 months ago.

Part of all this moving was, in the last eleven months, having fourteen different roommates. This was an amazing glimpse into human nature that taught me a considerable amount about flexibility. I think I have become one of the most adaptable persons in the whole world.

No matter how little you bring with you, living in someone else’s house brings with it all kinds of crazy things. There are the wonderful things- like learning how to cook delicious foods from your roommates or getting to live in a house with a fishpond and a swimming pool for free. And then there are the really hard things, like waking up to find out that breakfast is served- and its rice and sardines. Or the strain between being a single person and having a separate life while you are living with a family.

I think the main thing I am thankful for now, is that I don’t believe the Lord will ever give me the *opportunity* to experience all that ever again. As thankful as I am for the insight and maturity it brought, it feels so good to be settled! So good.

Today is June 1st, 2007. And it is six months to day that I left Afghanistan.

Blood Diamond and Hotel Rwanda

Don't read this post if you haven't seen the movies and want to.

Blood Diamond was an amazing movie. More than anything I've seen before, this movie reminded me of what it is like to live in a place where, instead of bling-bling, its "bling-bang," as Leonardo DiCaprio put it so succinctly. Not that Kandahar was anything like Sierra Leone- it was nowhere near that scale of violence and bloodshed. But watching the movie transported me back to a place where human crises are happening on a totally different scale than America. There's a part in the movie where the rebels take over Freetown, shooting, looting, and burning everything. Forcing child soldiers to shoot up drugs after they kill women and other children. And then I remember my day today.

Strangely enough, there was some twisted comfort for me in realizing that Afghanistan is not the worst place on earth to be. There are still places in Africa that are much worse, where things a thousand times more horrible are happening.

And a week after watching Blood Diamond, I watched Hotel Rwanda. Now, if you have avoided Hotel Rwanda thinking it might be a little too intense for you, just watch Blood Diamond first. It will sort of numb you to the atrocity.

And isn't that what many of us are searching for? We don't want to feel guilty after seeing a movie like that, so many of us aren't watching those movies and documentaries. Like me, who refuses to watch Invisible Children and then go buy a twenty dollar pair of shoes. There's just a level of horrific pain that is much easier to pretend does not exist and buy the shoes.

And this is my huge struggle in life right now. After seeing everything I saw last fall, and movies like Hotel Rwanda and Blood Diamond, how do I come back and live in a place like America without being guilty?

And I mean that, exactly. Not without feeling guilty: without being guilty.