Um... I have a lot of questions. Unfortunately, on my current rotation, I am not even capable of forming the sentences to ask the questions that are in my head. This would be okay except for the fact that the attending (doctor) invariably asks me these very things.
Here are some examples of questions to which I am supposed to know the answers and the types of things that come to mind when asked.
Doctor: "So his residuals are increasing. I want you to refeed the residuals back through his NG tube and then we're D/C-ing the trophic feeds and the sodium benzoate. Why not continue his feeds?"
Me: "... ... ... " (blank stare + absolutely nothing)
Doctor: "ABGs are 7.43 / 20 / 100 / 24 / -2 / 70 and the vent's set on 55 / 25 / 60. We're going to decrease the respirations as well as the tidal volume. What is the most common cause of VALI?"
Me: "Your mother. I am out of this lame unit."
Doctor: "This baby is 3 days S/P failed R heart cath for HTCM. During dye injection he coded with v fib, desat-ing down to 30. (Insert four more sentences of confusing information here.) He's now on diltiazem, propranolol, fentanyl and prn tylenol. What do you want to do with him?"
Me: "Sounds like a hard day. Does he like ice cream?"
2 comments:
You should just speak jibberish back. Maybe that's the secret. I miss you!
Seriously... I wish they didn't know the difference. I am still working on figuring out what the heck they mean when words leave their mouths. :)
PS, I miss you!
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