Randomly Compiled Thoughts

1.) Still no word on Cyd... after a short freak out on Thursday night, I realized Cyd is probably fine and just locked in a room somewhere; and promptly failed my pharmacy test the next morning.

2.) This really was a weird two weeks. Two Thursdays ago, I found out I had MRSA, which means I've felt like crap ever since. Then on Friday the medicine I was taking started making me paranoid, then in real life my friend was kidnapped Saturday morning. Tuesday I went to a small group and really loved it, because they prayed for the war in Kenya and Cyd for two hours. Then after I started sending Cyd emails, so she would have them when she got home, my gmail account was locked; and then Friday it was unlocked and I failed the pharm test. How do you explain a week like that to the completely normal-looking blonde sorority girl sitting next to you in class after she just described the last episode of Nip/Tuck? Oh, how was my week? Yeah, I'll just start a conversation about the Taliban. That would be completely normal right now.

3.) Yesterday I came to a really freeing conclusion. I HATE SCHOOL. I don't have to wonder why I sometimes break out in fits of anger. I hate school and its that unadulterated despising making its way to the surface.

4.) I still really love medicine. How this works out with hating school I don't know. Most of it has to do with the last three sentences of #2 and realizing that I am there for such different reasons than many of my classmates that I can't even begin to explain it to them.

5.) I am tired of only being able to explain 2 minutes worth of emotion to 50 different people when there's an ocean inside. Holding it back ten times a day, seven days a week... I don't know how much longer this can go on. Breaking down multiple times a day doesn't seem like a very good option either. Oh, that the Lord would give me strength to do his will.